Mark’s interview in this week’s NME29/06/2011 20:14
MARK FEEHILY, WESTLIFE
The boyband star on getting punched and getting together with James Blake
Hello, Mark. If you were the Henry VIII of Westlife and the rest of the band were your wives, how would you kill each of them?
Just off with all their heads.
I suppose it’s quick and painless, unless you have an unusually thick or stringy neck and it takes a few goes.
True. Nobody wants a half-arsed decapitation. It’s all or nothing.
Nor would one want half one’s arse to be chopped off.
No. That would definitely be painful.
If half your arse did have to be chopped off, would you go for the left cheek or the right cheek?
I’d go for the left one. I’m right-handed so I suspect my right cheek is my strongest one.
Have you ever punched anyone with your right hand?
I’ve never punched anybody actually.
Have you ever been punched?
Yes I have, a couple of times.
Was it your fault?
Erm… No. Well… Some bullies were jealous that I got with a girl they fancied, something like that.
How long ago was this?
It was one day after school, back in the day when I was straight.
What advice can you give on how to take a punch?
I just got really overwhelmed and was useless. I don’t think I’m very good for fighting tips to be honest. Actually you can do what we do now, which is hire security guards and they do it for you.
Well, that’s the spirit: hire someone to beat people up.
Well, it’s much easier that way.
Perhaps we should make it clear for legal reasons that Westlife as a band have never hired security guards to beat people up.
I’ve never employed someone specifically for that reason, no, but there was one time when there was this guy who was really, really drunk and sort of looked a bit like a 35-year-old David Hasselhoff. We’d just won Record Of The Year and – like a lot of people around the country now I think of it – he got really angry with us for winning and he came over and he was being a wanker and (line breaks up apart from intermittent burst of speech including “security guards” … “fisbing boat” … “Ricky Martin”) and all the others acts who’d been nominated for Record Of The Year were just watching while it was all happening. It was very uncomfortable to watch two grown men fighting each other. J Lo was well pissed off.
What sort of NME sort of stuff are you listening to?
Well, there are people out there who might know everything about every band in NME. I am not one of those poeple. But I do like some people who might have been in NME. I love Jamie Woon and James Blake for example.
Westlife could go in a James Blake sort of direction. Tempo-wise it fits right in
I reckon our A&R man would say “You need more words and melodies.”
But what would you say, Mark? Wouldn’t you say, “Fuck off A&R man! We’re going to do this!”?
Yes! I’d say (Getting quite excited) “PISS OFF! YOU’VE FUCKING SIGNED US SO TOUGH SHIT! WE’RE NOT ROBOTS!” (Calming down)(Coming to sense) No, I wouldn’t say that. But I do like James Blake.
He’s a handsome chap, perhaps he could join Westlife to fill the hole so sadly left when Brian left.
Yes! He could join the band, be the producer and sing, of course. Yes. He’s probably happy doing what he’s doing, though, isn’t he?
Well, maybe but he’s not going to get on The X Factor performing THAT is he?
Maybe he should join us after all.